quiet

it's entirely too quiet here. c is at her grandma's house, j is off at school larking about, no doubt, and i'm sitting here waiting for the washing machine to finish its ponderous spin cycle. and it is too quiet! it's not quite 0800 here as yet, but it feels as if i've been awake for hours and hours.

i'm used to a little hand tugging on my sleeve, a little voice querying me, "mama, wanna dweenk?" and pulling me over to sit/snuggle by her on the sofa while we watch cartoons on the telly.

she starts school this fall, and all along i've been good-naturedly fielding the repetitive question from everyone - "well, my my, how will mama handle both little ones being off at school??" - i've been saying, with an equable smile, "well, i'm sure it'll be a very strange feeling, but surely i'll get quite a lot done," etc., etc., etc., with some rubbish thrown in about how "all children have to grow up sometime."

but now? i'm not quite so sure. i think mama might be plastered to the clock for the first few weeks of the school term, waiting until it's time to go pick up both my babies.

maybe mama is the one who is having trouble letting go, after all.